Douche bag Ex-Boyfriend

Haha, this was fun for me. I have the music done as well, but probably won't have the chance to post the music right now. Thanks to Jimmy and Nathan for helping with this. I think there are a lot of women and men that can relate to this.

Douche bag Ex-Boyfriend

Verse
So he calls you a whore,
Even though you made his last truck payment.
He has a goatee the size and shape
of a small Arab country.
He cuts the sleeves off all of his t-shirts.

He hasn't had a job in three months,
But he does some construction on the side.
But all the money he makes
He uses for getting high,
Or for fixing up the system in his 'ride.'

PreChorus
His back is full of hair;
You won't admit that he's fat.
And nobody talks about his daddy like that!

Chorus
If you have a douche bag ex-boyfriend,
Then we won't be able to date.
Let me save you the trouble
By calling this off early,
'Cause you'll probably just go back to him anyways.

Verse
He uses his kid against you.
He likes cutting down all your shows.
He has a tattoo in old English.
He f-ing loves pit bulls.
And he sends you 20,000 texts in a day.

He hates your best friend Amy.
He steals money from his mom.
When you broke up the last time
He stalked you for two weeks
And punched a hole in your bathroom door.

PreChorus
He wears a cross around his neck,
But never goes to church.
And nobody's going to tell him what to do when he's at work!

Chorus
If you have a douche bag ex-boyfriend,
Then we wont be able to date.
Let me save you the trouble
By calling this off early,
'Cause you'll probably just go back to him anyways.

Outro

(A few more reasons for not dating you if you have a douche-bag ex-boyfriend)

Reason one:
He'll try to beat me up.
Reason two:
He'll try to hurt himself and call you
Then you'll feel sorry for him
And you'll have sex again.

Reason three:
He'll say that I've been talking shit,
But I don't even know what that is.
Reason four:
It'll make me feel so small
When you chose him
Over me after all.