Head Above Water

I used to fill notebooks upon notebooks with words in my teens. Words without meaning, words with pretense, words with syntax, and words without form. This song (written about a year ago, and freshly memorized once popping in my head yesterday) reminds me of that part of my life. I was not prejudice with my selection of themes or form, and mostly it was stream of consciousness. I'm deliberately juvenile in this song, and you can feel the imperfections of the person's life and relationships. Yet despite the implications of the disorder, there is a smear of optimism somehow visible. The wordiness and flow reminds me both of Third Eye Blind and Jason Mraz.

My favorite? Not even close. Did I write it? Yes. Well in that case...

Head Above Water

Verse
Last call, I guess
I'll stay a minute.
Two hours later
and I'm still in it.

Did I upset you my queen?
I didn't mean to be mean.
I didn't mean to be me,
The moment overtook me.

Love is a super nova;
Love is a black hole.
You go in one side
And leave without a soul.

If love was a knife
It would be sharp at both ends.
If you could go back in time,
Which scar would you mend;

Which thought do you tend to cleave?
I wouldn't leave you,
Believe me, you receive
The best there is.

To achieve a center,
State of peace of mind.
You may make me yours,
But I can't make you mine.

I will find a light
In this empty hall;
These walls are going
To shatter to the floor.

Chorus
I'm trying to keep my head above water,
But the concrete on my feet,
Has its own agenda I'm afraid.
I'm trying to make myself still matter,
But as the ceiling meets the floor,
I wait for something more, but wait in vain.

Verse
Two times, I bet
I'll take my chances.
Last one leaving,
And last one dancing.

Can I confront you on this?
I really hate when we kiss,
Not because of what it is,
But because of what I miss.

Love is a supernova;
Love is the last toll.
You pay with your life,
Your youth, your heart, your soul.

How can it all disappear
In a pattern of wind,
Or in a funnel of smoke?
Should I retrieve it again?

Should I believe it's pretend?
Should a I relieve myself,
And stop reliving the ends
To a mean, the crest of the fall?

The rest of it all,
The jagged shards and once more,
The bits of me
Lie in pieces on the floor.