Douche-bag Ex-boyfriend Video

I cloned myself in order to give everyone a live viewing of my song 'Douche-bag Ex-boyfriend.' It was nice taking a break from the serious songs I write in order to do this song. Additionally it was pretty fun coming up with a way that two 'Chases' could perform it. I altered my words just a little bit from the previous post when I first wrote the song, so I have the new lyrics at the bottom. The second 'Chase' singing parts are in red.

Douche-bag Ex-Boyfriend

Verse
Yeah he calls you a whore,
Even though you made his last truck payment.
He has a goatee the size and shape
of a small Arab country.
He cuts the sleeves off all of his t-shirts.
To try to make them look cool but they are really lame.

He hasn't had a job in three months,
But he does some construction on the side.
That's a lie, he's been getting high.
He has a back full of hair;
You won't admit that he's fat.
And nobody talks about his daddy like that!

Chorus
If you have a douche bag ex-boyfriend,
Douchie, douchie, guy's a really douche.
Then we won't be able to date.
No dating with this guy here.
Let me save you the trouble
By calling this off early,
'Cause you'll probably just go back to him anyways.

Verse
He uses his kid against you.
Tries to make you feel guilty.
He loves putting down your favorite shows.
They're pretty lame but that's still pretty mean.
He has a tattoo in old English.
He f-ing loves pit bulls.
And he sends you 2,000 texts in a day.
Remember the part about not having a job.

He hates your best friend Amy.
He steals money from his mom.
He wears a cross around his neck,
But never goes to church.
And nobody tells him what to do when he's at work!

Chorus
If you have a douche bag ex-boyfriend,
Douchie, douchie, guy's a really douche.
Then we won't be able to date.
No getting in this guy's pants.
Let me save you the trouble
By calling this off early,
'Cause you'll probably just go back to him anyways.

Outro
Reason one:
He'll try to beat me up.
Reason two:
He'll try to hurt himself and call you
Then you'll feel sorry for him
And you'll have sex again.

Reason three:
He'll say that I've been talking shit,
But I don't even know what that is.
Reason four:
It'll make me feel so small
When you chose him
Over me after all.

Updated! You can now purchase this song below.